The conversation was firm and to the point. No longer could I go off of the peace I had felt. Instead Bruce was making it clear I had to hear from the Lord directly. It was such a large decision and when the tough times came I had to know that I had heard directly from the Lord.
So there I sat on our couch with my journal and Bible. First I had to confess my fear of believing for the impossible. For whatever reason in the last 4 and 1/2 years it’s been easy to believe for my husband to go on outreach even when it has felt impossible. But for me . . . Did God really want me to do ministry abroad or was it just for my husband?
Besides our family outreach to Uganda, over four years ago, all my ministry has been local with my children. Yet this time it would be me with our seven month old Zoe heading to Cameroon.
So what was the struggle? So many things weighed on my heart. The fact that we still need $4,000 to purchase a car and it cost $4,500 to go to Cameroon. The fact that I will bring our 7 month old to Africa and all that entails. And all of the what if’s.
As I cried out to the Lord He simply asked me “Why not?” So I listed my reasons. He then asked me “If I call you can I fix all these things?” Oh good question Lord. He was going at the heart of the issue.
Did I trust Him?
I knew the answer was yes but my heart felt faint as I looked at the mountain in front of me. I meekly answered yes anyways.
“So why not?” God asked me again.
I didn’t understand. Instantly I felt a prompting to read further in my Bible from where I had just been reading. Phil 2:13 (NLT) jumped off the page
“For God is working in you, giving you the DESIRE and the POWER to do what pleases Him.”
I had to ask “OK, would going to Cameroon please you?”
He simply answered “Yes.”
Of course I needed to know why and to my surprise He stated “It’s what I have designed you for.”
Aww what did that mean? My head was spinning.
Then He stated “Your children are part of your ministry. They can do it too. I will show you Kara. Wait, I will tell you.”
The first part made sense. God had been talking to me about how I needed to fully embrace having children with me as I do the ministry He sets before me. At times being in meetings or working on projects it is a struggle to embrace all the interruptions children bring. Yet here God was reminding me it is how he has designed me. I am not a Lone Ranger, I come with special additions (As I write this I have one hand holding Zoe who just woke and the other hand is typing. It’s just where I am at in life and it is so vital for me to embrace and enjoy the season).
But the second part “I will show you Kara. Wait, I will tell you.”
What did He mean by this? When I shared with my husband he just laughed. “Kara, He just told you to wait and here you are asking Him to answer and show you what He means.”
Of course he’s right but I am a planner and now that I have a clear Word from the Lord and only 5 weeks until we are to leave for Cameroon I long for the answers and the plan to be laid out. So waiting does not sound fun.
But that is what He told me to do. So as I wait for His miracles I do continue to move forward with preparations for the launch of TRIPS in Cameroon (click here for details).
Our team consists of 6 experts (two doctors, two lawyers, one Dr. in Educational Leadership, and one expert in the sphere of Religion) and an administrative staff who will be heading to Cameroon in two weeks to get things ready on the ground.
The next few weeks will be a frenzy getting all the necessary things in place but we are expectant for the miraculous. For African leaders to hear about how experts in their own field allow the Holy Spirit to direct and guide them in their professional work. For African professionals to gather more skills that will bless the multitude in nearby villages. For our doctors to host two free clinics in nearby villages. And for African youth to be inspired to change their world for the Lord in all seven spheres of society (Family, Economics, Government, Religion, Education, Media/Communication, and the Arts).
Will you join with me in believing God to move the mountains? Click here if you’d like to financially help us reach the $8,500).
Thank you for your prayers and for believing with us for the impossible.