So far I’ve talked about when I surrendered my life, when I found out I was called into missions, the direction I took after high school and when I first was introduced to helping transform lives. Well life sure has a way of taking many different twists and turns. The next 7 years I believe were some of the most difficult twists in this journey of life…..
While I worked at World Vision a life change took place that I never envisioned would turn out how it did. I met and married a Guatemalan man named Tony. He was going to a small Hispanic church with his family but when we started to date he decided to come with me to Northwest Church. Once we got married I stopped working with the youth and instead we got strongly involved in the Young Married’s ministry and led a group for over two years. During this time I got to meet some incredible people and got to see some great marriages.
Towards the middle of our third year of marriage Tony decided we needed to find others to take on our young married’s group and to start looking into other areas to serve separately. At the same time I was finishing up my bachelors at the University of Washington in Business Administration and struggling with some depression because I felt lost, not really seeing a clear path to where God was leading next yet feeling like He was trying to say something the whole time.
Looking back now it is so clear that God was trying to say something and He used the season of depression to help me get rooted firmly in knowing how to cry out to Him. From my limited perspective my marriage seemed good on the surface, I knew it wasn’t perfect and it had room to grow but what marriage doesn’t? However, I was not prepared for the night Tony came home with news that shattered my world for a season.
What news was shared that night? Words no woman wants her husband to mutter …. “I’ve been unfaithful”. I couldn’t believe it, shock, pain, denial ….. We were Christians, leaders ….. when I said “I do” I meant it. How could this be happening? I crumbled.
The next few weeks were a whirlwind of pain and confusion. I lived with Jen and Steve McConnell (not wanting my family to know what was going on) until I realized our marriage was in shambles and going to take a lot longer than a week to fix. I moved in with my Mom and Grandma as I tried to grasp what this new turn of events meant.
Over the next several months I experienced pain and trauma like no other season in my life up to that point. It was a season of breaking and God used it. He used it to give me a very small taste of what many I would and will be ministering to have experienced on a regular basis. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” This scripture became very true over the next few years of my life and I know will continue to be true as we go on our journey into full-time missions.
Read the next blog (First year and a half of standing for a marriage.)